| 2007-11-09 17:25:57 |
The Caravan Park
|
Spectacular subject matter - just use some shorter paragraphs pls. We're already in danger of going blind ;) |
| 2007-11-09 18:21:01 |
The Caravan Park
|
Great stuff and please use more paragraphs |
| 2007-11-10 17:51:18 |
The Caravan Park
|
Paragraphs are too long; spelling is only so-so; but the story is quite good. 8/10 |
| 2007-11-11 16:35:26 |
The Caravan Park
|
Jeeeeeeeezus, that was hard to read. Put a little pepper into your stories. Never mind those achingly long paragraphs. My Lord.. Shorten things up and let's get to the fucking. There is some fucking, isn't there? I couldn't read it all because everything was so jammed up. |
| 2007-11-17 13:55:28 |
The Caravan Park
|
Sorry about the paragraphs. Do not know what went wrong from cut and paste to appearing on here. Next part will hopefully ok. |