| 2008-01-07 23:46:57 |
cumming home_(0)
|
that was fucking crappy ass writing. Check for grammar. read the story out load. you sound retarded, I couldn't even jack off to this shit. |
| 2008-01-08 13:57:19 |
cumming home_(0)
|
this definitely needs a part 2 |
| 2008-01-09 03:12:44 |
cumming home_(0)
|
make a part2 but please double check grammar and sentence construction. also make the story a bit longer :D |
| 2008-01-09 03:20:59 |
cumming home_(0)
|
funkin gr8..add more detail for the sequel though.. |
| 2008-01-09 06:01:01 |
cumming home_(0)
|
none of you have the slightest idea of what good writing is do you? this story sucked. There was no detail, it was too short, grammar sucked, and the sentence structure sucked. Learn to write dude, |