| 2008-02-24 21:40:29 |
i want to kiss you
|
needes more detail |
| 2008-02-25 06:18:41 |
i want to kiss you
|
Bloody pathetic story. Nothing erotic, nothing to get even vaguely hard with. Complete crap in fact. The writer should get back to his /her day job of garbage collector. |
| 2008-03-08 04:11:25 |
i want to kiss you
|
Was Bollocka |
| 2008-03-09 16:04:05 |
i want to kiss you
|
Unfortunately it was too short. Instead of dumping us into the meddle of a scene, try building a real story. This was just a snapshot in time. You could have done a lot with this story, but you wimped out and gave us three minute drivel. Was it even that long? 6/10. |
| 2008-03-09 16:05:11 |
i want to kiss you
|
It's all been said. If you want to write, pay attention to the advice given. |