| 2006-09-11 07:34:48 |
Forbidden Fruit II
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The plot is good, however you might want to try with some paragraph separation. It just makes the reading easier. Perhaps use a word document before you put it here. And if there is no actual beastiality in this section, then you should not place it under a label of beastiality. The chastigation is correct in such a case. Otherwise good, over all. Just watch the spelling a little as well. And to those who think this is sick, you're the one who clicked on it, so take a good hard look at yourself. |