| 2006-11-01 02:53:40 |
Luscious Pussy
|
The spacing made it terrible to read, everything felt rushed, nice touch on the nipple clamps. Better luck next time. |
| 2004-12-22 00:57:46 |
Robert
|
holy fucking god! that is a fucking NOVEL how many pages would that be, like 20? awesome stroy, i think im the first one to read it in its entirety as there is not any votes or comments... great job, took me a good 20 minutes to read, and im a very fast reader. i give you a solid 10/10 !!!! |
| 2004-12-22 06:51:28 |
Robert
|
Toooooooooooo LONG! |
| 2004-12-23 03:13:12 |
Robert
|
Fuck that was good! But I really think you should put that shit into chapters! but 10/10 for effort and imagination but ur speling and grammar and the missing out of some words needs some work still |
| 2005-05-10 10:37:33 |
Robert
|
I agree with sockman, your spelling and grammar do need some work, and so does your puntuation, but your story structure is impeccable. I think that you should oughta write erotica novels. I would love to read this story to my ex-girlfriend. She'd get so wet and horny that she'd have me fuck her for twelve hours. She's a cute little, blue-eyed blonde, 5'1" who loves sex and gets wet easily. |