| 2005-01-28 14:17:02 |
Camping with Parent's Friends
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"bonafied?" Try bona fide. Don't mess up a decent story with such a blunder. |
| 2005-01-28 15:07:07 |
Camping with Parent's Friends
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Write shorter paragraphs and ad an extra space in between each, Any book you ever read does this, It makes a story easier to read; you won't lose your place when heading from the end of one line to the next. |
| 2005-01-28 21:15:21 |
Camping with Parent's Friends
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Great story. I just can't wait to read another one from you. Very good description. |
| 2005-01-29 22:07:32 |
Camping with Parent's Friends
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LOVED THE STORY i LOVE TO HAVE MY ASSHOLE LICKED IT DOES DO SOMETHING TO ONES ORGASM'S IT'S TERRIFIC GOOD STORY USE MORE PARAGRAPHS EASIER TO KEEP MY PLACE |
| 2005-02-02 19:38:23 |
Camping with Parent's Friends
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very nice, well placed story with great detail. i came good and hard. |