| 2005-02-19 15:31:31 |
The Historical Viewpoint
|
awesome story!!! |
| 2005-02-26 22:05:58 |
The Historical Viewpoint
|
the best |
| 2005-04-01 03:39:44 |
The Historical Viewpoint
|
You were too hurried. Punctuation was off, I lost track of the story after halfway through. Close your eyes, visualize, then write what you see. You could be much better. |
| 2006-01-02 18:03:57 |
The Historical Viewpoint
|
I liked the story, but it was a little off track from the time changes. But a nice story! keep trying and good luck! :) |
| 2005-02-12 02:32:36 |
The Indian Maidens
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i was a good idia but somethings made no sence the sex part should have been longer and more details on the women getting raped not the slut that liked it made no sence why the mistress didnt want the savage to get killed other then that i gave u a 6/10 i liked it keep trying :) |