| 2005-06-28 05:30:49 |
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It was a good story, as the last man said, up until the rape scene. Maybe I didn't notice, but I thought she was older till I was way into the story. Good hold, but older, and no rape scene would of made it better. Would of also liked a bit more closer to the story, unless you plan on showing people more with these. Just, the ending left me hanging as to what happened when she went home and the like. Other than that, keep up the good work, but drop the rape, and age should of been older. 6/10 for good use of words, situations, and mood, but serious points off for age, and most definately and importantly the rape. I will look for more of your work in the future, however. |