sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2005-06-16 16:27:10 | My 14th birthday. | Good story - quite rushed. Looking forward to reading more from you. |
| 2005-06-16 18:31:24 | My 14th birthday. | too short |
| 2005-06-17 01:36:04 | My 14th birthday. | It was a fairly good story for your first. I felt very rushed as if you were trying to tell it to your friend before your ride showed up to take you home or something. Needs a lot more detail. Keep working on it and it could be grade A material. |
| 2005-06-17 13:27:41 | My 14th birthday. | Slow down girl, uve a good story line here, but as someone else said, 'more description. How did you feel when the dildo was filling ur pussy, ur ass, how did she taste? I hope there's more, u have an exciting (to men) story line. U gotta 9 for effort. r |
| 2005-06-17 19:29:44 | My 14th birthday. | Good for a first story. Like others have said, slow down. Add in more description. Also, don't have her just throw her clothes off unless she is a slut, in which case intoduce her as such. Flush out your characters and story line more. Good job. |