| 2005-09-05 01:07:03 |
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I did not really care for the whole switch from voyeur to rapist thing. You come across as very mysogenistic. You do need to work on your dialogue. Try writing the story in word then copy and paste it here, that way you retain the formatting.
Keep writing. |
| 2005-09-05 07:28:21 |
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A great story. Keep on with more stories. I loved it. |
| 2005-09-08 16:15:24 |
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cool |
| 2005-12-06 01:49:18 |
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Fuck all of your! |
| 2006-12-02 18:04:14 |
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reads like a fucking script. did somebody dictate this to you as you typed? dead reading, get some life into it. |