| 2005-09-16 12:40:23 |
Sister Taning
|
next time you're in there, look for the missing "N" from the title. |
| 2005-09-25 00:28:02 |
Sister Taning
|
Wow, that was contrived. Capture a sexual assault on tape, use it for blackmail against your sister, and watch her go from refusing sex to demanding anal sex. Last I checked, girls didn't come because someone blew a huge wad of spooge on their backs. This girl isn't a character. She's an orifice. Your mechanics are terrible, too. I'll vote against part II. |
| 2005-09-28 03:41:11 |
Sister Taning
|
Get a bigger vocab. And work on building suspense. Everything happened too fast. |
| 2005-11-23 10:15:20 |
Sister Taning
|
this is a good story but make it longer next time make part 2 soon 3/5 |
| 2006-01-21 08:06:24 |
Sister Taning
|
Could have been a great story, possibly one of the best i've ever read, but it was over too quick! Try building up the suspence. Only the end wasn't really great, but i'm looking forward to reading more of your stories! Keep up the good work!!! |