sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2005-10-22 07:16:01 | mother's away on business pt1 | it's amazing. one girl starts out with D cup tits, the other C cup. thenwen they're fucking they're both D cup. keep it straight-or keep notes which ever. |
| 2005-10-22 10:21:14 | mother's away on business pt1 | this story has great potential' next parts add more voyuerism and then they get caught fucking by clair and the two girls sneak into the parents room while they are sleeping and they dare each other to play with clair's tits and jack off dad's cock |
| 2005-10-23 08:30:22 | mother's away on business pt1 | Titman Al write your own stories. Your suggestions are lame. This story has definite potential. With a bit of polishing it could pass as reasonably good. |
| 2005-10-23 08:43:03 | mother's away on business pt1 | Actually, Silver Hair, his step-daughter Katie had C-cups, and the friend, Kelly, had D-cups, and the author made reference to them being the same size as his WIFE Clair who has D-cups ...maybe you should take some notes moron. |
| 2005-10-23 12:28:21 | mother's away on business pt1 | It was kind of choppy and hard to follow. For all the build up, the sex scene(s?) was kind of anticlimactic. He is married to a woman old enough to have an 18 yo daughter, but he slacks around the house like a 20 yo stoner. This probably arises from the author being 19 but trying to write about an older married couple, write what you know (or at east what you can bullshit convincingly) There was very little description of the charecters except to throw a few numbers and letters at us. (most writers at this site treat description like a drivers license with bra/penis size. "Female, 23, brn hair, grn eyes, 5'4" 125 lbs, 34C. Come on guys, give us some freckles, glasses, and tattoos.) The dialogue was erratic, but dialogue is hard. The story does have potential though, keep writing. |