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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2006-08-27 22:10:10 | Revolutionary Magic #100: A Cell, A Spell | Interesting. I do like the fantasy stuff. Too bad it does not draw too many readers here at xnxx. You write very well, clearly. Some of your explanations got a little overwhelming. Understand that newspapers are writtien at a fourth-grade-level... for good reason too! i look forward to more stories. When crafting your chapters, try to involve something a little sexy every so often. pace it in your story. i wrote one that was 14 pages long on Word,,, and no real sex til the end. i mixed in some erotic stuff... some observations of sex... voyuerism... dreams. And this is good stuff, bud!... you should be proud of it. congrats! -blade- |
| 2007-11-30 20:05:49 | Revolutionary Magic #100: A Cell, A Spell | wonderful story - keep it going!! |
| 2006-08-16 13:14:49 | The Greatest Party of My Life | A little bit tame, try a bit more detail and inject a little element of hard sex into your story. |
| 2006-08-16 13:37:57 | The Greatest Party of My Life | If he imbelishes itn then it becomes a work of fiction and no londer a true story. Need more detail on what happened after. Did you and Sarah become an item? did you get to fuck either or both of them again????????? |
| 2006-08-16 15:52:04 | The Greatest Party of My Life | True story, nah, great story, nah. A pretty damn good first effort though. I was all ready to hammer this story, but its not too bad. The pace was really good and he actually did a good job with his descriptions. The dialogue was not so good but hell, I could not have done any better when I was 18. Keep writing kid you might have something here. |