sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2007-06-13 13:01:12 | my love affair with a younger man | Hi.It may be true.But a kid his age cant be so cool. And u havent given the intro with bit more elobration. Still U have done a job that is nice. |
| 2007-06-27 05:12:38 | my love affair with a younger man | I enjoyed this story , im sorry its little embarrasing , im stroking now and can i meet u lol. im just kidding its a good story . |
| 2007-10-31 09:57:14 | my love affair with a younger man | expected more |
| 2006-08-31 03:19:23 | Revolutionary Magic #101: Magical Lessonings | Wow! What an effort! You have created a world. I imagine your desk is covered in notes, scrpas of paper or notebooks full of plans and thoughts. It was a great read and I look forward to more. Have you looked for other sites to post your work? You probably should find something for more serious wroters. I will send you what i got in a few days. Your descriptions are great. I think back to the beginning. your description of the two women and the door, the baron's room. And the types of mages was good, but i think more detail later would be great. Now about the sex. It had some originality, and kept me interested. However, it was told... as a story, and i have seen this before... never seems to work well. continued -blade- |
| 2006-08-31 04:09:01 | Revolutionary Magic #101: Magical Lessonings | Ok... as i was saying. perhaps you understand that orally relating a sex scene inhibits the writer, and thus the reader. Or maybe you don't, i dunno. If you chose this route, fine, who am i to object. we can discuss this more if you want. Also. I noticed, while reading, that you put very few thoughts (of your characters) into the story. Why not, or why not more? this can be tricky of course, it is a matter of style but it helps tell a story. Plot... i realize now you have lots of material to introduce. Plot is forming, perhaps, but try to introduce a bit of conflict, or hint at it. Nessa will be killing mages. Bellemir is a mage. A little conflict. HInt of war... bad guys? but... also i liked the learning Nessa under going. hope your story does well. -blade- |