| 2006-09-21 18:24:04 |
Bouncin' Becky
|
hey becky, that was so hot, please right more! only thing you could also do, would be to include some paragraphs, that makes reading always easier and more comfortable.. but you are so hot! i would like to take care of ayou myself.. ;-) |
| 2006-09-21 23:07:45 |
Bouncin' Becky
|
now that is a fuckin story there deff better be another one |
| 2006-09-22 04:46:59 |
Bouncin' Becky
|
story is wonderful... please continue |
| 2006-09-22 08:16:10 |
Bouncin' Becky
|
can't wait for the rest......bravo |
| 2006-09-22 22:08:33 |
Bouncin' Becky
|
Excellent story. Good lead up, good descriptions, too. Very erotic. I liked it. I gave you a 9. If you're serious about writing; maybe getting published and if not, just to continue here..? My thought is to use the spellcheck and grammar check. Also, stay consistent with the descriptions. The earlier Reader's comment, was a good point. It was regarding being able to crush your breasts against your uncle's abdomen and kiss his lips at the same time. That is quite a visual, but anatomically unlikely. LOL Otherwise, you are a great writer. Please write more! |