| 2006-11-01 18:32:42 |
Betty The School Teacher
|
i have to agree with the first reader.... was this edited after the Gloria scene? it seems to change views very often, and the last 1/4 of the last paragraph is all sorts of confusing.... other than that, the Gloria part was pretty damn good... id give it a 9 for appeal, and a 6 for easy comprehension.... not bad |
| 2006-11-15 02:16:58 |
Betty The School Teacher
|
Sorry if you got confused. I think if you re-read it you will find that he met the teacher a student and caught her eating another student Gloria which started the whole thing. Gloria moved away and He the student continued to fuck the teacher at least four years after his graduation, and that is when the doggy bit starts, |
| 2006-11-15 15:15:22 |
Betty The School Teacher
|
a bit confusing |
| 2006-11-23 21:19:05 |
Betty The School Teacher
|
the teacher is telling the boy a story about her, the other girl, and the dog towards the end. it makes sense |
| 2006-12-01 17:12:00 |
Betty The School Teacher
|
your story is confusing, (he, shit, or me)make up your mind! |