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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2007-02-09 00:55:55 | 19 NAUGHT CAUGHT 20 ROUGH 'N TOUGH | You are a complete fucking bumbling idiot stop writing this NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!1 |
| 2007-02-11 17:29:15 | 19 NAUGHT CAUGHT 20 ROUGH 'N TOUGH | ok, I just finished the second set of 10(?) chapters and have some more critique for you. Although your subject matter probably ruffles some feathers, my biggest objection is a seeming unwillingness for you to let your story send the message - instead your writing, and especially the dialog, is peppered with statements that seem to want to steer the reader into exactly what you want them to think or believe. A good story simply flows along and if it is engaging enough, the reader goes to wherever it takes them. It seems you are paddling too hard to steer the reader to your destination - and getting some amount of resistance. hope that helps your attempt to improve your storytelling. If this series gets to '30' chapters, I'll look in again. good luck. |
| 2007-02-12 11:35:47 | 19 NAUGHT CAUGHT 20 ROUGH 'N TOUGH | fuckion shut the hell up you asswipes wouldnt know good pedo sex if it split your ass wide open, this is gonna be a great fucking orgy later. hey jr make sure they're all still wearing their little uniforms when you bang 'em |
| 2007-04-20 16:39:23 | 19 NAUGHT CAUGHT 20 ROUGH 'N TOUGH | plodding and boring |
| 2007-02-08 08:23:12 | My little secret 3 | more this is great you got me so hard i could cum |