| 2007-05-22 11:17:43 |
The taking of a conservative wife (Chapter One)
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Really BAD!!!! |
| 2007-05-22 18:54:53 |
The taking of a conservative wife (Chapter One)
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I like the concept and the story, and the pacing was surprisingly good, but the writing itself has some problems. A high end 7. |
| 2007-05-23 21:37:18 |
The taking of a conservative wife (Chapter One)
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It was okay...let me explain chapters to you. Chapters don't end in the middle of scenes like this. Chapters conclude some thought, not leave a big cliffhanger in the middle of the important scene. Especially in a novella like this, ending on a note like this makes it either look like you've forgotten part of the story, or there was an error. The story itself isn't terrible, but some work could be done for part two. |
| 2007-06-27 09:44:57 |
1st time pt 4
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This story was based on true events. I do not condone the event of a man raping a little girl but it made for a decent story line. Watch for my next story. It is also taken from a real life event. "Amy" Hope you enjoy it as much as my other stories. |
| 2007-06-27 16:13:36 |
1st time pt 4
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Punctuation, spell, check, paragraphs. Use them... |