| 2007-10-13 11:26:30 |
Friend's Family
|
Still needs some polishing up. it was pretty ok, just watch for ur pace. the sex was too hasty. more introduction and teasing needed. lastly a bit more paragraphing. 7/10 |
| 2007-10-14 19:08:25 |
Friend's Family
|
it was good but i think once u got thru the first fucking u sort of got in a rush, otherwise i likesd it. |
| 2007-10-14 21:35:46 |
Friend's Family
|
Some spaces would have been more pleasing to the readers eyes. Also get into more detail with the sex. |
| 2007-10-15 12:40:05 |
Friend's Family
|
WOW Love this story. Part 2 |
| 2007-10-15 23:24:21 |
Friend's Family
|
310, that sucked |