| 2008-01-03 03:28:14 |
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Needs more background and a better storyline, but a steamy story never-the-less. Good job |
| 2008-01-03 04:32:37 |
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it sucked |
| 2008-01-05 06:53:03 |
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needs work but great story |
| 2008-01-05 10:43:48 |
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like what the other reader said, it lacked background and matter. i liked where it's going though so i hope there's a part two:D |
| 2008-01-05 13:42:48 |
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the acutal sex part is really good the author just needs to work on a little more build up and not move quite so fast...good story 8/10 |