| 2004-05-24 06:40:15 |
Sara
|
Great story need a bit of editing to get the speed to pick up but you have potential. keep working and some day you will be a great writer. |
| 2004-05-30 03:01:10 |
Sara
|
Id be surprised if this was your first fic. Its a very good, and very realistic story. Most stories like this that I have read end in the two of them screwing each other. Some people would be too horny to care about the story, but for that reason, I think you could be a professional author. And no, I dont mean just erotic fiction. |
| 2004-05-31 11:27:22 |
Sara
|
great story.........you could write great write-ups.Cheerios for you. |
| 2004-05-31 22:28:02 |
Sara
|
not bad hell! that was pretty good you should write more stuff and part two o'course |
| 2004-06-01 01:24:11 |
Sara
|
In the words of the great Fat Pizza boys, that was like, fully sic mate! 9 out of 10. |