| 2006-06-12 19:16:28 |
Jason chap. 3 & 4
|
the story is good buyt , za charachtraers arre mesced upp itz tina zen becky |
| 2007-02-21 18:56:08 |
Jason chap. 3 & 4
|
not bad but you keep mixing up becky and tina |
| 2007-09-14 11:36:48 |
Jason chap. 3 & 4
|
The names were mixed up only the one time--I think. There is too much going on at one time, too many cummins at the same time, and it makes me believe that there is a lot of bullshit in the story. It could have been a great story without making the cocks and pussies appear to be machineguns. Gave the story a 7. |
| 2008-03-02 12:32:37 |
Jason chap. 3 & 4
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my dick got stuffy too |
| 2004-07-15 18:05:46 |
Jefferson High-Pt. 1, ch.2: Danielle
|
They get better. A few spelling mistakes but I'd imagine they slipped through with the passion of trying to write in the same time scale as the action of the story which is never easy! I remember sexual experiences like this when I was in my teens. There's nothing wrong with a bit of 'wham bam thankyou ma'am!' NIce one Mikey! I'm giving you 9/10. |