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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2005-04-05 14:19:02 | Desk Set | liked the story, there are a couple spots where the reader is confused for a second or it is rough and doesnt flow properly. Read it aloud to yourself to remove these. Here are two examples. "With that, she broke down...her plight touched me." - too many pauses screws it up. another: "Her eyes glazed ... make eye contact" - confusing This is the point where the reader will bail out if not interested enough. Trying to give constructive comments, it is one of the better stories on here, it just reads like a first draft and needs to be more polished before sent out for the world to enjoy. |
| 2005-08-20 03:21:44 | Desk Set | it really didnt do much for me i thought it needed more detail. And honestly who wants to hear a story end like that. it was way to abrupt it went from middle to end in like a second next time try and put more detail and try and ween into the ending more instead of snap crackle pop bing bang boom done, HAHAHOLLA overall a decent story but take y advice it might actually get somebody off if you do and isnt that what you wrote it for. sry if thatz mean but i tell it like i see it. Sorry again i dont really like to be mean but i think you should consider fixing it cuz it did nothing for me. BUH BYE. |
| 2005-08-23 05:33:09 | Desk Set | not to good |
| 2005-08-31 01:14:52 | Desk Set | Hey, honkey orange and critic can kiss my ass! This story was great. yur just jealous. |
| 2005-10-28 11:07:56 | Desk Set | now THAt was VERY nice! more please |