| 2005-12-01 16:10:14 |
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I sort of agree with Insane, its not horrible but it is also not really deserving of a 7.15, just because a story has sex doesn't atimtaically make it good. there needs to be plot and a build up and a climax (no pun intended) this was a good start 6/10 |
| 2005-12-01 16:58:05 |
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There wasnt much of a build up to the story it was like hear it is, ok its over. Might wanna work on that for the next one. |
| 2005-12-01 22:59:36 |
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Paragraphs. Try using them. |
| 2005-12-06 14:31:58 |
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Great story |
| 2006-01-10 17:21:13 |
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i tottaly jacked off reading this |