| 2006-08-06 19:17:18 |
Moral Model Mom No More
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Hey sorry about some inconsistencies. I wrote half the story at some point and the other half much later and I was too lazy to reread what details were present in the first part. |
| 2006-08-06 19:58:28 |
Moral Model Mom No More
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To address some things people wrote below, I have made changes to correct the mistakes and submitted edited story to the website. You're totally right, I should have proofread it. |
| 2006-08-06 21:28:58 |
Moral Model Mom No More
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The mistakes are forgivable, but the halting first person narrative is just painful. When you proofread it, listen to the characters voice in your head. Nobody sounds like that. It sounds like the narrator from 'a Christmas story'. Loosen up a little. |
| 2006-08-07 01:13:24 |
Moral Model Mom No More
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Great story over all man, I'd love to see a 2nd one where he confronts her about it. and gets to fuck her himself. |
| 2006-08-07 14:27:11 |
Moral Model Mom No More
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Man I wish that was my Mom after telling her what I saw, we would get to fuck hey and knock her up |