| 2007-11-28 22:52:01 |
All in the family Chapter 3
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nice but dont lik david anymor he's gay! |
| 2006-07-22 05:19:03 |
All in the family Chapter 1
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dude!! long and nice, just the way I like it : |
| 2006-07-22 08:11:17 |
All in the family Chapter 1
|
Very nicely done. it gota bit bogged down in parts of the sex but notso bad. Problem is that people just dont talk like that. it bothred me enough due to feeling the abrupt snap out of the mood every time the dialog clashed with the scene. |
| 2006-07-22 10:21:02 |
All in the family Chapter 1
|
good story, but got kinda sloppy in the middle with to much dialogue. waiting on next chapter. |
| 2006-07-22 11:12:25 |
All in the family Chapter 1
|
Although the dialogue was not believable it was a great story and premise overall. 9/10. It would have been 10/10 if the dialogue was better. |