| 2007-09-18 09:11:34 |
me&my cousins secret
|
Here's a tip, DON'T label stories Teen female/Teen female, when they are clearly Male/Female! Also, divide the story into READABLE paragraphs, not just one long block that is incredibly hard to read on-line! |
| 2007-11-18 21:41:47 |
me&my cousins secret
|
First start by learning to use punctuation; periods, commas, etc. Capitalize the beginnings of sentences too. this was one long-ass, run-on sentence. i couldn't even bring myself to actually read the story. crap! 3/10 fool. |
| 2008-03-02 17:25:03 |
me&my cousins secret
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where the fuck did you go to school, jupiter |
| 2006-08-17 20:03:08 |
Becky_(2)
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good story.. however some advice which helps is to describe that moment that she cums.. wat her body does, wat her pussy does.. wat it causes him to do.. in detail... |
| 2006-08-17 20:21:09 |
Becky_(2)
|
good great 10/10 |