sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2006-10-03 18:44:28 | Amy's first time. Chapter 1 | Great start. |
| 2006-10-03 21:30:29 | Amy's first time. Chapter 1 | g0t punctuation? |
| 2006-10-03 21:31:50 | Amy's first time. Chapter 1 | keep going man |
| 2006-10-03 23:53:25 | Amy's first time. Chapter 1 | man that was awesome. hurry up with more. please!! punctuation was ok. grammar was good too. easy to follow. this isn't an english essay. dont listen to the others |
| 2006-10-04 00:39:21 | Amy's first time. Chapter 1 | How the hell am I supposed to follow a conversation without line breaks or quotation marks? The descriptions are quite average, and I can only assume that he banged her because she was as much of a nypmhomaniac as her sister and daughter. The direction of the plot looks like it will be as boring as a home run derby -- a home run every time. This was actually unplesant to read. Your prose has no flow because you have too many independent clauses jammed into the same sentence. The dialogue issues turned a dull story into an excercise in masochism. This could be okay with a lot of help from a writing tutor. =dreamer= |