| 2007-01-17 17:27:04 |
Hermione and the threesome of forecumming
|
the first person view was really annoying. and was that it? that was meant to be a sex story, not a 7th harry potter novel. i like the way your using hermionie though, so so sexy, make this into a REAL sex story and your onto a winner. |
| 2007-01-17 18:43:43 |
Hermione and the threesome of forecumming
|
Don't make it P.O.V because it sucks |
| 2007-01-17 20:39:51 |
Hermione and the threesome of forecumming
|
No better than adequate. 5 of 10. |
| 2007-01-18 02:51:04 |
Hermione and the threesome of forecumming
|
the pov didn't work. and you should definately try and read the books before just rushing into a story without details of inter-personal relationships. |
| 2007-01-18 06:05:44 |
Hermione and the threesome of forecumming
|
You should learn how to spell and also learn how to write properly. This was bloody awful. 2/10 |