| 2007-07-27 16:24:06 |
|
This is a great story. Someone who can make up a astory like this should be writing real 240page books. 10/10 |
| 2007-07-27 17:26:19 |
|
Had to skim due to the lame beginning. Besides the unnecessary jackoff repetitiveness, I must ask... are you a yokel? Writing for yokels (whom probably cannot read anyhow)? Drop the redneck crap and everything would flow a lot better! Huk-ed on poe-honix werk-ed fo me? |
| 2007-07-27 19:28:45 |
|
If was pretty ok. Keep it up |
| 2007-07-28 11:37:20 |
|
This was a great story, I can't wait to read the rest. Don't listen to the people who have said "Dude, fuck the foreplay and get to the fucking!" Or something similar. But you have to build up to something, which you did quite nicely :). I like how you describe everything in magnificant detail.
At reader 07-21-07 - 18:40
Try not to give away that you're on the computer for more than 10 hours a day, and that you're 11 years old ;) using, what people call "leet-speak" is just retarded. And I can't even under stand most of what you're trying to get across. "Dude wen u write a story get to the good stuff quick the jackin off shit got me grossed out by lyk the 3d paragraph...." I see that you can spell SOME words, but still... |
| 2007-07-30 22:33:13 |
|
great story man, hope theres more to come. I think its very silly when people try to tell you that you're not doing a good job telling a story when they can't spell at a third grade level. 10/10 |