| 2007-06-12 05:27:02 |
hokey
|
I liked it. Keep at it. Paragraphs and indents would make it easier to read, but good imagery. Very sexy. :) |
| 2007-06-24 23:07:02 |
hokey
|
is he fucking you while wearing all his gear? because i play hockey and its damn hard to pull a cock out of thsoe pads! it would work a little better if you were more sensible in some areas, and all that moaning and groaning would echo in a hockey rink, why is no one hearing them? a little more reality is necessary, but good try. hockey players are the best lovers 4/10 |
| 2007-06-11 12:08:03 |
ME - 01
|
Very enjoyable looking forward to the next part |
| 2007-06-11 19:47:26 |
ME - 01
|
really good man i liked the speach patterns and how realistic it was good job 10/10 |
| 2007-06-11 20:47:50 |
ME - 01
|
really liked the speach patterns. This story should be heard and not read to truely be appreciated. I just hope I did it justice in my mind. |