sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2007-10-08 08:54:14 | Inside Me: C02 | Not a bad effort. I liked it better than the first installment. Keep it up! |
| 2007-10-08 11:11:51 | Inside Me: C02 | dear e.l.hanes, this really is shaping up very well. there is some (very) minor inconsistency in Maeghan's internal voice. generally, that voice is a consistent, breathless string of very short sentences (wholly appropriate to a young woman in the throes of first desire), each of which carries a single significant fact, or observation, or surmise, etc,. but here and there, the internal voice shapes a complex and sophisticated self-analysis really better handled with a narrative, in the narrator's voice. but it appears that you've already committed to a tale told from the single viewpoint, so that solution is barred; you're doin' just fine without the lugubrious voice-over. ylerecnis, ... |
| 2007-10-08 15:50:15 | Inside Me: C02 | u are a very good writer keep it up m8 |
| 2007-10-08 16:40:00 | Inside Me: C02 | El, Don't worry about ylerecnis. You just keep writing. The first two are great!! |
| 2007-10-08 17:11:09 | Inside Me: C02 | Though I would like to say that Ylerecnis is being over critical I would still agree with but only casually and not seriously. I would have to say that, being a man it is really nice to hear the other side of the story and also amazingly erotic especially as it comes from the mouth and mind of a young woman. Please do write more and more of these and this kind of stories. I found these to be very nice and new. Bravo! |