| 2007-10-10 01:31:26 |
Inside Me: C02
|
Well to substantiate clearly how contrite she was feeling, further detailed elaboration of the girl's contemplation was needed. this actually helps brings out the proper climax of the story allowing us to understand and dwelve deeper into the character's traits. generally well writen with alot of emotion and the plot was desirable to the extent of being intriguing. great use of command of language and there was even psychological play. 8/10 |
| 2007-10-12 05:55:07 |
Inside Me: C02
|
Nicely done. Very much so, indeed. |
| 2007-10-12 09:49:50 |
Inside Me: C02
|
Total shit . moves around from sentence to paragraph without telling the reader anything . where did the blood on your one leg come from / how does the hair brush fit into the story ? what debt did Ean pay to society ?When you start to tell a story with a paragraph , finish that part of the story before moving to the next part . It was hard to follow and it didnt hold my interest very long |
| 2007-10-12 22:22:10 |
Inside Me: C02
|
You fucktard of a bitch, get ur facts straight. it is a fucking continuation of the first part u shithead. dont insult anything before u get ur facts clear. maybe u are actually a retard with short attention span having the intellectual and analytical abilities of a 5 yr old. 9/10 |
| 2007-10-17 16:15:30 |
Inside Me: C02
|
No critics here mate, nicely done and screw everyone who says you have messed up...just keep it the way its meant to be, true readers will love it. |