| 2007-10-26 18:06:20 |
His Mom My Mom 2
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Look, minor mispellings I can forgive, they happen, but "quire"? What the hell is that? Spell checkers are great, but they don't catch everything, slow down and take time to RE-READ your stories so that they flow a little better. Speaking of flow, try to keep the events in order. In one paragraph the guy finds his mother naked with his father's cum in her, and she tells him they will need to talk that night. Then the next paragraph goes onto fucking the teacher that afternoon, which would have been fine if you hadn't moved the story forward 6 weeks in the second sentence and then jumped back to that day two paragraphs later. If you take the time and proof read your stories, they would definately be easier to read and mor enjoyable. I'm not saying it has to be perfect, for heavens sake it's a sex story not a novel, but at least clean it up so that if there are any errors in grammar, spelling, and plot development they don't diminish from the enjoyment of the story itself. Oh, and a final note, watch out for misplaced pronouns. There were a couple places were you put "me" instead of "you" or something like that. Other than that, good story even if it is way out there, but hey it's fantasy. Keep up the good work. |