| 2007-12-03 00:24:19 |
Jayna the Genie
|
i totally agree with the poster that said this was better with porn. the way this was written really allowed me to visualize and experience everything. it was great. but as a writer myself i do think that your back stories could be thicker and the relationship between Jay and Chris could be a little more defined, but i know love like that exists so..... yeah great work 10/10 |
| 2007-12-03 11:54:37 |
Jayna the Genie
|
nice one. waiting for the 2nd part |
| 2007-12-03 12:52:45 |
Jayna the Genie
|
good job more plz |
| 2007-12-03 16:04:09 |
Jayna the Genie
|
awesome story gj man keep it up |
| 2007-12-03 17:25:12 |
Jayna the Genie
|
good work man keep it going. and i agree with the other people can not wait for part 2. i give it a 10/10 n if i could give it more i would |