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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2005-10-11 13:45:12 | babysitting my babysister | sounded a bit like a military report, no passion or real description, good story line though ur spelling needs work |
| 2005-10-11 21:41:19 | babysitting my babysister | learn to spell also when to fast into sex with her |
| 2005-10-12 03:34:13 | babysitting my babysister | If you and your sister aren't close, then she won't let you cop a feel and blow you. There has to be something resembling a relationship. Spoken lines help create at least an illusion of that. This reads like something between an outline and a rough draft of a story. You've taken a fairly standard incest scenario and written it like the play-by-play commentary at a sporting event. If you are going to have characters and plot, they have to be developed just a little bit. You need to improve your sentence and paragraph structure, and fix your spelling for this even to be readable. If you seriously study writing, I will look forward to your subsequent posts. |
| 2005-10-12 09:15:32 | babysitting my babysister | you ... have ... to .. be ... kidding. that was seriously < 1/10. a.) decide on a name. b.) dont think ive EVER heard anyone scream 'PLZZZ' before c.) ARGH I WISH I COULD READ THIS BUT I CANT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE |
| 2005-10-12 13:22:50 | babysitting my babysister | poor story, spelling, and don't send anymore if this is the best you can do. |