| 2005-11-25 21:34:28 |
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horrible, add more detail and break it into paragraphs, too hard to read.
0/10 |
| 2005-11-26 09:57:07 |
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The writing was ok, I just felt the story ended much too soon. It reached a climactic point, and then it just ended. I had to go back and reread just to finish myself off. But, I do see a great deal of potential in your writing. Keep practicing, and we may just have another great erotic author on our hands. |
| 2005-11-26 13:26:09 |
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DER, MORE PLEASE.............. |
| 2005-11-26 23:50:29 |
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Thanks for all the feedback, to all of you who didn't like it, I'm sorry my writing didn't suit your desires. I will definately take all of the constructive critisism, thanks Dastardly Deeds Pussthirst and Dckrubber for the thoughts that can help me in the future. |
| 2005-11-27 09:49:09 |
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nice story. A bit short but good. 9/10 |