| 2006-04-07 13:12:01 |
sherrie my teen toy
|
I ALMOST FELL ASLEEP READING THIS CRAPOLA,IF THATS THE BEST YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DREAMS TO YOURSELF..TY |
| 2006-04-07 13:38:53 |
sherrie my teen toy
|
I have to agree with my fellow readers your grammar and spelling were awful! It really detracted from the story - next time use spell check, that's what it's there for! I also thought it was a little extreme for a 13 yr old to look like a 17 or 18 yr old - wishful thinking perhaps? |
| 2006-04-07 14:31:28 |
sherrie my teen toy
|
bah. needs ALOT of work. Spelling. character structure...remember, the age limitsould be arounf 15-17 for teen...try again... |
| 2006-04-07 18:22:31 |
sherrie my teen toy
|
this story needs a lot of work if the author hopes to get a 10 rating. Sloppy writing, lousy spelling can ruin a potentially good story line. Keep on trying. |
| 2006-08-18 19:39:43 |
sherrie my teen toy
|
Kewl storyline, I know that sort of hing happens. It would be a lot sexier if you got some student to proofread it first. Might give the student some ideas too. |