| 2007-02-11 11:43:11 |
New Neighbours - part 4
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Where sarah disappeared from story, involve her in this orgy of mom, dad and neighbour. |
| 2007-06-28 07:36:17 |
one late night watching tv
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Try putting this story through a spell checker? |
| 2007-06-28 08:26:19 |
one late night watching tv
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you have some seriously stupid mistakes... not enough detail for me though.... gave it a 4. |
| 2007-06-28 12:29:50 |
one late night watching tv
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Potential, but yeah, you need to take more care over spelling and grammar. |
| 2007-06-28 15:27:43 |
one late night watching tv
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Had a lot going for it, it needs more attention to detail - your mind is fine it's just your writing that stinks! nice try though 6/10. |