| 2007-08-19 14:00:53 |
41 A BIT PRIVATE 42 CALL 'N PLAY BALL
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For a first story you did okay. The more you write the more confidence you will have. However in the next part I would have less talk and more action of some sort or another. You brought it close to bi with both men maybe exploring things with each other. I still think your story has potential. Keep writing and reread before you send it in. |
| 2008-02-11 10:47:48 |
41 A BIT PRIVATE 42 CALL 'N PLAY BALL
|
would u please quit putting this crap out here!!! |
| 2007-03-22 22:26:19 |
An Idol Fantasy
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That was fantastic 10/10 |
| 2007-03-23 10:28:29 |
An Idol Fantasy
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YOU MUST HAVE WRITTEN THAT LAST REVIEW ALL BY YOUR SELF. ? 10/10 ? NOT FROM ANYONE WITH A BRAIN |
| 2007-03-23 10:47:03 |
An Idol Fantasy
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I liked it was kinda wierd with the age thing, and dont understand if it was really a lil girl doin it or his wife/girlfriend pretendin to be a lil girl but i liked it alot keep it up . write more |