sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2008-01-22 16:42:06 | Ms.Brooks | What faggot name is osbaldo!?! |
| 2008-01-30 12:08:16 | Ms.Brooks | what the fuck is osbaldo??? this cant b a true story......................... |
| 2007-05-27 02:19:20 | Late Work | honestly......someone comment gosh i post stories to get some constructive critism |
| 2007-05-29 17:27:33 | Late Work | Well written, you can actually spell and have a good grasp of grammar. Your story was a strange & welcome departure from some of the dreadful dross on here. Will check out your original story too. Everyone criticises everything on this site it seems, I like a bit of variety in stories here. Thanks. |
| 2007-06-04 01:22:14 | Late Work | You are improving. Much in the same way when I first started. You are getting better with the detail so now start thinking about where best to put that detail, or its order. The second paragraph read difficultly. It was hard to set the scene well the way it was presented. I would say to maybe mention, his naked skin on the distinct metierial or metal of the chair with his hand's hanging over his head, before the fact that he was bound. Those would be the predominate factors he would assess in his mind first to place himself in his situation. Then as he begins registering more of the scene, small muscle movements would signal his bindings, sight or familiar feel would clarify leather; maybe he could smell the leather. Contact me if you want more help. I'm limited on room here. |