| 2007-06-22 14:21:03 |
Summer Shower
|
that was kind of lame dude, it was to short, not enough detail and build up, you went right from getting home to getting off in just a few lines, no story to it, i liked what was there but seriously when you do part 2 add somthing more to it. 7.5/10 |
| 2007-06-22 18:15:48 |
Summer Shower
|
"figures" is actually spelled "FINGERS" !!! |
| 2007-06-22 20:53:46 |
Summer Shower
|
that was fucking pathetic |
| 2007-06-22 21:28:16 |
Summer Shower
|
A fine tale, just could do with a little revision, a little more care over spelling, grammar and overall presentation. Keep at it. |
| 2007-06-23 09:49:22 |
Summer Shower
|
How can you writers do such a lousy job of writing with such good content???? It could be a great story but it needs to be written is the same anner as other stories. All stories have names, paragraphs, good grammar, and good content. A little more forplay would be helpful. If you had done some fucking in the past, you would understand that the woman, more than the guy, needs foreplay to get her over the hump. Only old farts need the additional foreplay--Not the young studs. Gave it a 6/10. |