| 2007-09-06 23:16:40 |
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gooooooooooooooood. |
| 2007-09-07 16:08:17 |
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| 2007-09-08 14:02:47 |
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Well written story with a good plot, fine details with few spelling errors. I was turned on the whole time reading it and I'm not a pedophile. |
| 2007-09-09 05:12:53 |
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Alright, let me start off by saying really great story.
My 1st problem was the spelling errors, it's important to make sure your grammar is correct in erotic stories because you're turning people off when they have to sit there trying to figure out what you meant.
2nd thing I would like to see is a little more detail in your writing esp when it comes to characters features, Oh and btw that whole mother son thing on the path was extremely un-believeable lol.
Only other thing I personally had issues with was the fact that I think you're from a different country than me because some of the words you used I didn't recognize, but hey that's not your fault.
Anyway I give you 8/10, good job but I would have liked it better if he came inside her the first time, but hey that's just me. |
| 2007-09-09 15:36:01 |
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MMMMM MY DADDY WAS FUCKED ME AT 13 I LOV HIS COCK |