| 2007-10-23 07:48:06 |
The Death of Sandra with the big nipple brassiere
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Are you just trying to see how much detail you can pack into every sentence? I found this FAR too verbose. Just tell a story without so damn many adjectives. Your stuff is without any redeeming merit. It is terribly boring. Don't give up your day job while trying to become a writer or you will surely starve. |
| 2007-10-23 17:55:14 |
The Death of Sandra with the big nipple brassiere
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dude this sucked. way to much detail. yeah detail is good but not the way you did it. |
| 2007-10-24 06:13:18 |
The Death of Sandra with the big nipple brassiere
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You're horrible :D You defined her tits a little, her clothes - a lot and then a finishing sentance "Oh yeah, they also fucked her. Fin". Damn... |
| 2007-10-24 08:42:24 |
The Death of Sandra with the big nipple brassiere
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Your story is absurd but I laughed my ass off especially where you explain male sexual attraction. |
| 2007-10-24 17:32:12 |
The Death of Sandra with the big nipple brassiere
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So. Damn. Confused. :/ |