2008-01-12 00:42:49 |
Jayne the Genie (2)
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yeah... there should be more romance, jay seems to be in love with guy and he hardly notices.. for the conflict that needs to come have jay get angry and only be calmed when the guy realizes he loves her back and there relationship doesnt have to be all sex |
2008-01-12 21:49:42 |
Jayne the Genie (2)
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umm no thr doesnt need to be a better plot if you want a novel go to borders i looooved this one lots of sex made me cum a lot |
2008-01-13 11:15:04 |
Jayne the Genie (2)
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the sex is great but i agree with the dude 2 comments before me it needs a plot or else it isnt going anywhere |
2008-01-13 14:48:23 |
Jayne the Genie (2)
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this first part was good it had a spark of imagination but this one seems to be more of the same. try to think up some more and diffrent ideas there are to many blowjobs and not anuf plot but over all very good 8/10 |
2008-01-13 17:13:31 |
Jayne the Genie (2)
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fucking awesome, but put in some anal. see if the genie screams |