sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2004-07-21 12:05:14 | Sis_(0) | The premise is good, but you need to work on making it more readable, as in spaces and paragraph structure. Also, keep the story flowing in one direction in time. The first half of it seems to skip around quite a bit. |
| 2004-07-21 16:16:03 | Sis_(0) | Fragmented sentences, this has. |
| 2004-07-23 13:35:59 | Sis_(0) | Please... shoot... self... head... 3/10 Cuz I feel sorry for you, TAKE GRAMMAR LESSONS! Not to mention at first she wouldn't even let him touch her then suddenly he practically forces it on her and she doesn't even try to stop him until he puts it in her, but she all of a sudden goes from despising it to loving it. Take grammar lessons, connect the broken parts in the story (How it skips around.. fill that in), and then shoot yourself. |
| 2004-07-23 14:47:38 | Sis_(0) | Jen, you need to learn much more about the weird and wonderful world of spelling, grammar, style, punctuation, layout, pacing, vocabulary, metaphor, innuendo, nuance, symbolism, etc, etc, etc. Your writing will not and cannot satify any sane person. The people who frequent this site haven't done anything to you personally, so why do you wish to give us all splitting headaches ? Read at least ten good books before you try again. |
| 2004-07-31 19:23:52 | Sis_(0) | Sprat go read some books yourself ya dip shit. What is with you ??? you can't get laid so you take it out on the posters here??? do us all a favor and shut the fuck up ass hole |