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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2005-01-28 15:45:26 | Point of View | You can't write in first person and switch between the two while also writing in second person. The reader will not be very patient to follow it. How can I be a guy and then the girl and then the guy and follow anything? If you want the point of view to be omnicient, then write in third person. If you write in the second person, calling the reader a you all the time and telling them what they see and think, then you must not make them schizo. A better way to write this story instead of second person, sould be to make each exchange a letter from one lover to the other. The time frame is a bit short, so don't actually imply they are a letter, but mark the time and person being written to instead of ***. 12:35 To Kate I noticed you as soon as you entered my house. |
| 2005-01-28 19:49:42 | Point of View | Fine, last time I try to be creative. I thought that the *** would have made it pretty clear that it was switching. |
| 2005-01-28 20:08:57 | Point of View | Fine, last time I try to be creative. I thought that the *** would have made it clear. |
| 2005-01-29 04:09:20 | Point of View | Don't let these morons get your creativity down. They only want a story that gets them off. I understood it, as well as my girlfriend and her mom, and all three of us thought it was great. The story is called "point of view" for a reason folks, becuz the point of view is switching in the situation. What are u people, idiots? learn how to read and pay attention to the fucking detail. good story anyhow bud, keep it up. |
| 2005-01-29 11:00:25 | Point of View | Great story. I liked the switching, You don't really see that to much. Good job. |