| 2005-04-04 17:23:27 |
Three isn't a crowd
|
it was alright but you need to develop the plot a little more to build p excitement. add some twists! |
| 2005-07-04 09:07:07 |
Three isn't a crowd
|
nice attempt but lacking passsion & urgency. Needs to be hornier, more graphic. I like the plausible story line. |
| 2006-05-18 11:16:23 |
Three isn't a crowd
|
WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT IF IT WERE ABOUT THE REAL THREE'S COMPANY'' JACK' JANET AND BIG-TITTED CHRISSY SNOW 'SUZANNE SOMMERS AND THEM'' TRY IT |
| 2005-01-27 16:49:10 |
Her Little Pet
|
This is another really great premise for a story. However it reads like a bad porn. Again, develop the story more. I am really interested in seeing where you can go with this. |
| 2005-05-25 00:43:23 |
Her Little Pet
|
not bad. but you do need a better storyline |