| 2004-05-28 07:11:00 |
Boys Locker Room Rewrite
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a bad attempt at erotic literature didnt the author stay for english classes,wack dialogue and story,unreadable,learn to write |
| 2004-06-17 14:14:35 |
Boys Locker Room Rewrite
|
Barly any better than the first one. Yes you put paragraphs in, but the main body of the story still is missing paragraphs and quotation marks. |
| 2004-06-18 14:39:33 |
Boys Locker Room Rewrite
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i liked it ....gev me a fat boner....lol:) ....could do with sum work on the spelling though buddy !!!! |
| 2004-07-01 19:49:31 |
Boys Locker Room Rewrite
|
i prefered the first just cus i found the girl being really young hotter, but paragraphs did help. |
| 2004-08-11 22:09:55 |
Boys Locker Room Rewrite
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this thing sucked, learn how to write fuck head |