| 2006-08-06 04:49:40 |
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all I know for sure it was good |
| 2006-08-06 07:17:17 |
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Well done, baller! The fingerfuck bit made me really hot... You really can write, so give us more. But take your time and build it up with more background colour and atmosphere. Rain's advice is good... |
| 2006-08-06 12:46:00 |
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Excellant ,esp. the start=finish relation,good luck on your sports writing career. |
| 2006-08-06 20:20:33 |
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Alright. Im giving it a 7/10. use more detail and try to have a plot. pure fuckfests annoy some people. But still nice story.
Austiman |
| 2006-08-07 01:21:07 |
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it's kind of short but it was quite good. you should include amy if you write a sequel :). nice for a first try better than what i did. good luck on your next one |